I can relate to this post quite a bit. When I worked in academic medicine, the goal was to become “academic famous” which means get big grants, publish big papers and speak at big meetings around the world. It’s not about money as much as ego. But all of these things take time away from the family and, like you suggested, you can’t get that time back.
I asked the most accomplished interventional radiologist I know what he would have done differently in his career, and without hesitating he said he would have chosen to spend more time with his kids. It was sobering to me. And now I try to live accordingly. Thanks for this great post.
Ari, this is one of the best comments I've received. "Academic famous" is a perfect way to describe it, and the interventional radiologist story says it all. No hesitation. I completely agree with him.
For me, it was working longer hours and chasing bigger goals under the belief that I was doing it "for my family." What I've come to realize is that while I was focused on providing more, the people I loved may have preferred more of me instead. I thought success meant earning more, building more, and giving more, but somewhere along the way I was trading time the one thing I can never get back.
As a father now, I see things differently. My son won't remember every dollar I made or lost, but he will remember whether I was present. One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that providing isn't just financial, it's emotional, physical, and relational. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give your family isn't more money; it's more moments.
Today, instead of trying to be everyone's solution to financial problems, I focus on allowing people to experience the life they create for themselves. I've learned that helping isn't always rescuing. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let people grow through their own experiences. I can't be everyone's superhero and nemesis. My responsibility is to be present for my family, lead by example, and build a life rooted in purpose rather than obligation.
Rakeem, this is beautifully said. "Providing isn't just financial, it's emotional, physical, and relational." That line right there is the whole post in one sentence. Thank you for sharing this.
I can relate to this post quite a bit. When I worked in academic medicine, the goal was to become “academic famous” which means get big grants, publish big papers and speak at big meetings around the world. It’s not about money as much as ego. But all of these things take time away from the family and, like you suggested, you can’t get that time back.
I asked the most accomplished interventional radiologist I know what he would have done differently in his career, and without hesitating he said he would have chosen to spend more time with his kids. It was sobering to me. And now I try to live accordingly. Thanks for this great post.
I love this comment and the commenter :)
Lara, you two are a good team. Thanks for reading AND commenting.
Ari, this is one of the best comments I've received. "Academic famous" is a perfect way to describe it, and the interventional radiologist story says it all. No hesitation. I completely agree with him.
For me, it was working longer hours and chasing bigger goals under the belief that I was doing it "for my family." What I've come to realize is that while I was focused on providing more, the people I loved may have preferred more of me instead. I thought success meant earning more, building more, and giving more, but somewhere along the way I was trading time the one thing I can never get back.
As a father now, I see things differently. My son won't remember every dollar I made or lost, but he will remember whether I was present. One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that providing isn't just financial, it's emotional, physical, and relational. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give your family isn't more money; it's more moments.
Today, instead of trying to be everyone's solution to financial problems, I focus on allowing people to experience the life they create for themselves. I've learned that helping isn't always rescuing. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let people grow through their own experiences. I can't be everyone's superhero and nemesis. My responsibility is to be present for my family, lead by example, and build a life rooted in purpose rather than obligation.
Rakeem, this is beautifully said. "Providing isn't just financial, it's emotional, physical, and relational." That line right there is the whole post in one sentence. Thank you for sharing this.
One of your best articles 🤙
Chris, that means a lot coming from you as I know you live your life this way.